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Friday, August 19, 2005

Looking for Love

Today marks the end of the second week of school. I am feeling a little less overwhelmed and #1 is still really into it. He especially loves the bible lessons. He will talk on and on and on, and he ponders it and trys to really figure out just how enormous our God is. #2 could care less, every now and then she surprises me and butts in with a little phrase of how much God loves us. She makes me smile. I love how her brain works. She is very artistic and emotional but unlike her brother, deep thinking is not a pass time of hers. How free that must be! I am SUCH a deep thinker, I could over analyze how to prepare a hotdog, my mind can really be a trap. I love seeing the differences and all 3 kids. Their personalities are completey different and unquie. I am truly blessed.

SO on to over ananlyzing. I headed to the local grocery store tonight after the kids went to bed. I have a major head cold, and it had been a while since I visited Kroger on a Friday night. A lot of singles there purchasing beer and eying every decent woman around, it was quite comical. I mean I have been married now for almost 8 years, I barely remember what it felt like to be single but I remember one thing, looking for love, even when in a relationship wanting to connect so deeply, to love that person and feel completely loved by them. I mean think about it, what are most songs written about, Love? We all desire to be loved in the deepest most initmate way. On the way home I was pondering this. I have known this but really needed to review it again, mull over it and rethink it and so on, see this is what I do. It is no accident no mistake people are like this. NO one perosn will ever satisfy that longing in our hearts, it is Christ and Christ alone. Certain people, even I guess certain things, can put bandaids on it, but the truth is when that person fails, it is Christ alone who can fill that void. I know so many times I have looked to my man to be the provider of that endless unconditional love that I naturally crave, he fails me, he always will just as I fail him, God never never never does. I mean never. It seriously blows my mind. My man just enhances it, he can't provide it. Peace, I mean real peace, that is what I gain from knowing this. "God you long for me. You desire my love and affection. With a grateful heart I will give it to you, and through you I may love people more than I ever could on my own. May your love consume me. In all that I do, In everything Lord, my I glorify you."

Well I am off to bed. Good night!


Blogger Rachel said...

Hello! the blog looks great. I have enjoyed reading. I posted a link to it on my blog. I love watching people check out other people too. It is funny and it makes me think of how funny I must have looked long ago!

9:44 AM


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