a pool upgrade

#1 has been imagining what his heavenly dwelling place will look like. One of his wishes is to have "a pool that's only 4 feet deep. it will have a diving board. but that's ok because when i jump off i can still touch the bottom" Well today he "earned" an upgrade. My son over came one of his biggest fears ... jumping off the diving board. Several tears we shed on his part. A lot of stern encouraging comments from me of course. It went something like this ...
Him- trembling with fear in the corner of the pool, asking that I not require him to jump.
Me- I know for a fact he is SO completely capable. I talk it up big. List the friends, younger and older, who love to jump, "son, you know I would never ask you to do anything that would cause you to hurt yourself."
He nods and replies, "I am just so afraid"
Me "Do you think you might die from jumping off the diving board?"
Him -Blank stare
Me, "Listen, I will be in the water waiting for you. I want you to TRUST ME that I won't let you drown. You just jumped 3 times from the side of the pool, its not much further"
Him -Blank stare, with some tears
Me "Just repeat after me, say -My mommy won't let me die, Say that, come on lets say it together"
Me, (not him)- "My mommy wouldn't ever let me die!"
Him-Gives me this look like -You are the biggest freakin IDIOT!

So finally he asks me to walk up with him and hold his hand. We get up there. He is trembling. The girls are hopping around behind us, "JUMP! JUMP, come on #1 just jump!"

Me- "Quiet or you both will jump!"
Him- a quick glance in the girls direction and he gives them the evil eye.

We walk out to the very end. Poor guy, he was just a shaking. I start to count. He gets his mask on. He lets go of my hand and does a big long jump toward the side. He comes up, looks around. I can see a small smirk. I ask him to do it one more time. This time, no complaining, zero tears. He gets up there, a little bit reluctant, and jumps! After that he's smiling feeling cocky and he jumps at least a dozen more times. As we left, I asked him if his pool in heaven could now have a deep end. He looked up and me and just grinned and said, YES!

Why all the drama? Both my older kids have a lot of fear at trying new things. Especially if it pushes them physically. I am not wired quite like that, so honestly it is very hard to relate. I had to push him to get the training wheels off his bike. Lots of tears were shed, but just like the diving board, once he did it, he was glowing and repeated it again and again and again. Sometimes I push b/c I think if I didn't, he'd be 16 year old boy with training wheels, hanging out in the kiddy pool and would have never once experienced being king of the mountain on the jungle gym at the play ground. I can see his potential. His dad and I just have to help him see and believe it too. He is an amazing kid. I am so happy I was able to experience that with him today. I am so proud he braved up and did it. I wanted so bad for the trust he had in me to out weigh his deepest fear. Reflecting back on our time at the pool, I am reminded that God desires the same of me.