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Sunday, September 25, 2005

I am back with tears in my eyes

Seems crazy that we were gone for almost 2 weeks straight. We also basically took two weeks off from school. I was nervous about that at first but that is the beauty of homeschooling. It was kinda sad saying goodbye to the beach, summer is over now. I have even noticed I have started eating like summer is over. Getting back home to my man felt so good. My eyes filled up with tears as I put my arms around his neck. The next morning #1 had his first soccer game. He scored a goal. I cried a little, I was just so proud. Oh he looked so good in his little uniform. He was also the tallest kid out there. I forget how above average his height is until we are around a ton of 5 & 6 year olds. I really am so emotional. I teared up leaving my mother-in -law at the beach. I just love her. I cried on the way home b/c I am a freak. I went to the play "Menopause" last night with my mom, aunt and a bunch of their friends. It was kinda weird b/c I think I was the youngest girl in the whole audience. I began laughing so hard that my eyes were tearing up. It really was hilarious. Today after Kidstuf at church, #2 went to go meet some of the actors and directors. She looked up at Alyson, the host, and she gave her this enormous grin that had "I admire you" written all over it. Just looking at #2's sweet little face, I got teary eyed. The amount of love I feel for my kids....well there is just no word to describe. It's amazing. I know my kids can never in turn love me like I love them, it doesn't matter at all, though. Reminds me of how much my Father loves me. He created me and desires to bless me. I will never love him the same, I am incapable, but it is so comforting to know that he unconditionally loves me....beyond my wildest dreams. My man and I had a China talk again today. God is leading. Oh I cried a little after that talk too. Why, heck if I know, maybe I need a good hard cry and get it all out or maybe I am just getting really soft at my dear old age of 30. Who knows. Thinking about it makes me chuckle out loud. Chuckle, what a funny little word. OH. Reading Revolution in World Mission, K.P. Yohannan (Gospel for Asia). This guy is RIGHT ON! I mean he is on it! Loving it! I will journal thoughts about the book when I am finished.


Blogger Magnanimity said...

Darlin'...good grief.

You've got way too much change, transition, travel, consideration, separation, and unanswered questions in your life to be worrying about emotion.

Goodness. Keep crying. Who wouldn't be. THAT IS NORMAL.

Don't know if this helps or applies at all, but the last time I felt like that, God's told me to stay still long enough to let the pond water settle. I couldn't see anything clearly because everything was too stirred all the time.

Be still. Cry. Journal. Stay in the word. Wait. I just said a prayer for you to find peace in the midst of it all. Glad to see you back in the loop. Take care..


4:47 PM

Blogger justabeachkat said...

What a sweet made be cry! I miss you so much! I love you. KD

4:55 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

#1 looks so sweet in his uniform! I am so proud of him...seems like just yesterday he was a cute little 6 month old smiling at everyone! How the years have flown!

9:55 PM


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