blah, blah, blah

Monday, December 19, 2005

losing it

I want to feel warmth. I want to feel love. I want to give love, have a heart of compassion and long for others to see Jesus in me. I feel like I lost that this past week. I get so caught up in the here and now that I quickly lose sight of the BIG picture. See, to me, all this stuff that I have to clean, organize, manage and take care of is oh what's the word, fleeting. True toys make my kids happy and I like my stuff, nothing wrong with that, sometimes I just feel it weighs me down from seeing things from an eternal perspective. I want to look at people and see through a lens of unconditional love. Just a few days ago I walked through a restaurant and as I was leaving, I realized, not once did I have one thought that people around me might need Christ. I have once again become consumed with myself. The result of my selfishness is apparent on my insides. The joy is not as bubbly, my mind is needing a speeding ticket, and my heart needs to be redeemed. And you know, what is so incredible is, all I have to do is stop, even just slow down, and take on step in the direction of my awaiting Savior. For he knows me oh so well. He is the source, the giver of the unconditional love I thirst for. He is my beautiful redeemer, the one I ache for. Only He is the provider of the joy that I can't get enough of. Sweet sweet Jesus. I am yours.


Blogger Kate said...

That right there is what I am talking about - SO INSPIRATIONAL! Thank you for that open/inward reflection. I need to step back and think that this week (this is my busy week!). Thank You, Thank You, Thank You !!!

7:04 PM

Blogger JenMom said...

OOH! I appreciate your honesty! I can totally relate as I have to give myself a similar attitude/spiritual adjustment on a regular basis. Now that you are ready...MERRY CHRISTMAS!

8:14 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing. What a testimony. It brought tears to my eyes because it's so true in my life as well. I'm so glad you shared this today. I needed this reminder of what really matters. Thank you...APB (friend of RW)

12:31 AM

Blogger muddy hands said...

girl, you know you have got it!
just do what you know to do -- get in the word! he is the only lasting, filling thing. turn on some good music and let praises go up. some days are harder than others-- you know i can relate - how many phone calls have you made to the "weeping woman's" abode? you do see others through his eyes, sometimes we just need to clean our lenses. turn your eyes upon jesus and the things of this world will grow strangely dim. he loves you, i love you, and you've got it goin' on. just like donkey kong. okay - i know i'm absolutely insane! help, i'm a homeschooler and we have been on vacation for weeks.... ha.

1:56 AM

Blogger Rachel said...

Totally feeling you here! This happens all the time. It's so easy to take our focus of oh Him. Praise God he pricks your heart and begs you back to him!

8:33 AM


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