losing it

I want to feel warmth. I want to feel love. I want to give love, have a heart of compassion and long for others to see Jesus in me. I feel like I lost that this past week. I get so caught up in the here and now that I quickly lose sight of the BIG picture. See, to me, all this stuff that I have to clean, organize, manage and take care of is oh what's the word, fleeting. True toys make my kids happy and I like my stuff, nothing wrong with that, sometimes I just feel it weighs me down from seeing things from an eternal perspective. I want to look at people and see through a lens of unconditional love. Just a few days ago I walked through a restaurant and as I was leaving, I realized, not once did I have one thought that people around me might need Christ. I have once again become consumed with myself. The result of my selfishness is apparent on my insides. The joy is not as bubbly, my mind is needing a speeding ticket, and my heart needs to be redeemed. And you know, what is so incredible is, all I have to do is stop, even just slow down, and take on step in the direction of my awaiting Savior. For he knows me oh so well. He is the source, the giver of the unconditional love I thirst for. He is my beautiful redeemer, the one I ache for. Only He is the provider of the joy that I can't get enough of. Sweet sweet Jesus. I am yours.