blah, blah, blah

Monday, October 24, 2005

oh what should I say today?

Another picture of my mess!


It was 64 degrees in our house today. Winter is on it's way. I was too cheap to turn on the heat. As we all sat around huddled under a blanket playing Strawberry Shortcake match game today, I thought, "this is ridiculous I should turn the furnace". Then I said, "Nah, I am the only one complaining."

Okay. I had something hard hit me today. I got a call from a friend and was confronted with something that hit me like a freight train. If you know me, I am totally okay with confrontation. But this wasn't confrontation. This was someone saying they wanted to end a friendship. No real reasons given, it's just over. You know women, we want reasons, explanations, closure. I got none of that. You know it's okay. "I will praise the Lord no matter what happens, I will constantly speak of His glories and grace." Psalms 34:1 That was the kids memory verse today, perfect for me to dwell on. So many emotions have been swimming around my head. Am I a bitch, a brat, too self absorbed? Who cares, I am me, I am not perfect, never claimed to be. Why am I rejected, why should I care, but I still do? Is it my pride that has been hurt, really my heart is broken, I want a chance to say I am sorry but I don't even know for what..........I am pushed to the cross, I can see His face. Beaten, torn, broken, spat upon, hated by so many, rejected by those he came to save. Here is me, rejected by one, the hurt will never compare, His pain is one I can nor ever will know. All I know is to say thanks. OH Lord, Here am I , all of me, take all of me. Take my life to be used only for you. I desire you oh Holy One. I only desire you. May every ounce of me cry out your praise. I will run to you Father. I will abide in you.

3 Comments:

Blogger Magnanimity said...

Ouch. Well. First, say this to yourself, for it is true: "My friend has quite an immature view of friendship if she thinks it can be started or stopped on our own terms." Say it again. Well, go ahead. I'm serious.

Okay, here it is: I have friends who, due to disagreements, life changes, personal growth...the friendship has changed. We are not as close. We no longer call, email, shop together...whatever. But, I still name them among my closest friends. Why? Because they would be there. If my world fell apart. If I had a need. They are my crisis team. Now, do I like that limitation? Not all the time, but God is in control, and I am not, and He forces us, I believe into other circles by changes our comfort zones of community at times...most of the time against our heart and will.

My friends and I are still in small groups together. We hold each other accountable-- in other indirect ways. Ministry paths don't cross as much. It hurts.

The touchy-feely feeling female thing is not there.

BUT...my point is, the body of Christ does not back out, shut out, shut off or stop caring...ever. That's the deal. There are boundaries at times...they are needed for the good. But, there is no "end". Even to a stated end, there is no end. Why? Love never fails. We are to love and pray for and encourage one another without condition and without ceasing. So, she does not "confess" you as friend. Does that make you any less of a friend? Were you ever "married" that you could "divorce"? What kind of "agreement" did you have? None, I suspect, in terms of when you would and would not be "friends".

Maybe God teaches us perseverance with broken winged people in times such as this. I don't know. Just know I'm praying for you.

In the meantime: Don't let it get to you (it will). Just stay the course (you'll get off course with this one). OUtlove (you will feel unloved and unlovable). Out give (it will be spited or rejected). Outserve (when God opens doors). Ignore it.

Choose to disbelieve lies.

LIsten here: It's a lie that a friendship can be "ended". Friendships change.

Frankly, I have some dear friends who I hardly speak to for one reason or another...that's just life. Things happen. And God heals.

BUT I am still "for them",and I know that they are "for me"...no matter what.

Family never quits. Love never fails. It never gives up. Faith, hope, and love...

Believe. Soak yourself in the truth and with people who know and love you. Search your heart, but just teach this hurting friend mainly that there is something bigger and better than you that sustains friendships.

God heals. Restores. But people hurt. His time. Find your joy. Keep blogging.

Me

11:33 PM

 
Blogger Teeny said...

I am sorry to hear this happened TS. But you have to think, if they are willing to cut off a friendship in such a way, without explanation, were they truly worthy of your friendship in the first place ? True friends are always there, no matter what! Their loss, I think ! Keep your chin up, you are a much better person than that, from what I can see :)

6:31 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey friend!

You know I love you. Count it a blessing that you called to chat when this happened. Keep looking to Jesus!! You are a great friend and I love you very much!

RW

2:40 PM

 

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