blah, blah, blah

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

my nose holes

We really had a fun day. We spent most of the day with our best home school firends. At home I got some things accomplished. Not house keeping things, just Christmas projects. The house does look pretty trashed but I am okay with it, for right now. I am just cold to the bone. I think I will take a hot bath, get warmed up and then see if I am motivated to get more things done.

Right before bed time the kids were brushing their teeth. #2 had a complete melt down, like a two year old, about her tooth brush. It was completely ridiculous and she ended up getting a yucky consequence. Well as I was tucking her in, we snuggled a bit and talked about what had happened. I thought everything was okay. I even had her laughing. I moved on to #1's room. Gave him BIG hugs and LOTS of kisses. He looked up at me and said, "Mommy, your nose holes are about the same size as my imaginext people's feet." What do you say to that? Really. Okay, I just giggled, gave him another kiss and turned out the lights. In the hall way I was greeted by #2. She held her arms up. As I carried her back to bed she said, "I am sorry mommy". Praise the Lord. She was convicted! I didn't even have to ask or act like I needed her to apologize, she just did it. I leaned over her in the bed and squeezed tight. I am proud of her. ... Thanks God for working on her little heart. Thanks for my kids. Thanks for my husband. Thank you for Your love.

1 Comments:

Blogger Magnanimity said...

I admire the struggles you are having...I had them even more often the younger my kids were, when all of it was just way to much "stuff", more "stuff" for me to manage than I had room to manage, but that they needed to "feel the love" from everyone who wanted to love on them, and then why should I even add to that, except to "make Christmas", too, and show my love...UGGGH! Managing all the love just wore me out...honestly.

Now that my son is 9, daughter 7, and little one 4...it is my last year with a "toddler" at Christmas. I am trying not to think or feel or worry, but enjoy the festivities, the giving, the doing, the baking...traditions. Making Christmas. For the first time, enjoying memories of all my Mother really did...why she did it, and why she cried and ranted about the house and baked until midnight every night for a long time while we ate balogna for dinner.

Now I know why. To entertain...to have food ready to share. To get ready for "the big day". To make it all "special".

I want to find ways to keep things going better in that department next year, but I can't seem to buy enough for the kids this year. I want to see the delight in their eyes over and over again. Though I know it's fleeting, I love the memories of those golden morning hours of preciousness. I can't seem to contain myself. Oh, we didn't knock ourselves out, but I do find myself wanting to just be a better mom. Just live all year like that, in the fullness of the moment, wanting to see them delighted, not quite so worried about making them too soft, which I often am.

Well, this comment is turning into a blog...I'll finish out there. Thanks for just sharing where you are...it's okay. Sometimes, reflective, longing, compassionate, yearning...I think that's indeed how Mary felt.

Join her in one of the question of the ages...how to do what God has asked you to do!

Goodnight new friend, and Merry Christmas!

Me

1:29 AM

 

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