ended bad

The day was going just fine and then 5 minutes before bed, it was like a bomb dropped. The house has seemed to be out of control for days on end. I know I am working to keep it up but I feel like I am swimming upstream. Towards the end of the afternoon I began to really focus on accomplishing things around the house. By the kids bedtime, I was about to complete a few tasks. I asked #3 to get her p-jays on. Now she has had no nap today, she is loaded up on sugar from Valentine's treats, she has played hard indoors and out. She is begging me to go night-night. I am so focused I expect her to go potty all by herself and get dressed for bed. Now see I know she is only 2 1/2. On a good day when she is chipper and in the mood, she can accomplish those things completely on her on. Not tonight. I failed to take in consideration what was going on in her little world. I was calm calm calm. By the sixth time I asked her to go potty, the monster mama voice holler out. I HATE it when I yell, I mean HATE it! The kinda of yell where you are just exasperated. I helped her get ready but with frown on my face. She was crying and I was distant. God quickly softened my heart and tears came to my eyes. I tucked that sweet little piece of love in and asked for forgiveness. Sweet thing said, "I sorry, too." Then I made my rounds, tears streaking down my face to say goodnight and sorry to the other two kids. I completely identify with Paul ... I do what I don't want to do.

One last night to be alone. My man comes home tomorrow. I c.a..n..n..o..t..wait.