keep reading

Everything I keep reading about my mom's disease says that after the diagnosis, patient lives 5 to 7 more years. I keep thinking surely this is wrong. I mean 5 years? I not ready for that. I want my mom longer than that. I am scared. Sad. Frustrated. Crushed. I never dreamed I would lose my mom this young. I thought at least my parents would live long enough to see my kids get married. Right now my heart is breaking. I feel so sad for my kids. They are so young. They truly adore her.

Her doctor has not told her this information. He is trying to be real positive and when she asked, "is this fatal" he would not directly answer the question. He told her not to read about it on the internet b/c it would scare the hell out of her. I think she is frightened. She is trying to appear strong, but I think it is a front.

Ok. I was cleaning the bathrooms and this all just hit me again. I think I have cried enough. I have got to keep going. I am leaving tomorrow to go see my hubby's mom.