blah, blah, blah

Wednesday, March 1, 2006

keep reading

Everything I keep reading about my mom's disease says that after the diagnosis, patient lives 5 to 7 more years. I keep thinking surely this is wrong. I mean 5 years? I not ready for that. I want my mom longer than that. I am scared. Sad. Frustrated. Crushed. I never dreamed I would lose my mom this young. I thought at least my parents would live long enough to see my kids get married. Right now my heart is breaking. I feel so sad for my kids. They are so young. They truly adore her.

Her doctor has not told her this information. He is trying to be real positive and when she asked, "is this fatal" he would not directly answer the question. He told her not to read about it on the internet b/c it would scare the hell out of her. I think she is frightened. She is trying to appear strong, but I think it is a front.

Ok. I was cleaning the bathrooms and this all just hit me again. I think I have cried enough. I have got to keep going. I am leaving tomorrow to go see my hubby's mom.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so so sorry! I love you so much! I have found that there have been a few defining moments for me in my adult life. Some good, some bad. With the bad ones, I really have to just allow myself to go through the emotions honestly. Don't stuff. But just keep coming to your Redeemer, don't look to your own strength. I have always been amazed at what an amazingly intimate time I have with Christ when things are out of my control and I fellowship with Him. He is so gracious to "comfort those who mourn". Living in a fallen world is absolutely heart-breaking. Life is so hard. Having to mourn sickness and death was just not part of the original design and it is so confusing and painful! I pray God will tenderly lead you along and carry your burden. LOVE YOU!!!

4:33 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Again, I always forget to sign, that was from me...RW! Sorry...

4:33 PM

Blogger Perri said...

I will be praying for your family. Remember with God, all things are possible.

12:42 AM

Anonymous Kate-bigredriver said...

I'm so sorry about your mom.
Found your blog from a friend's and liked you immediatly because you can't spell.

6:02 AM


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