blah, blah, blah

Friday, September 30, 2005

the dog we almost, well never had

I am a sucker! My man and I have had the discussion, "We will not get a dog" many many times. We both agree. We've had a dog before and we don't want that kind of commitment again. I grew up with dogs, always had one or two. I think they are great, but it is a commitment of 10 plus years! I had a dog who lived 15 & 1/2 years long. So my grandma, who lives next door, has this guy who helps in manage her gigantic yard. He found a baby black lab. She was really cute, sweet puppy breath and all! He was unable to keep her and he wasn't having much luck finding her a home. Instantly I wanted to say yes. Her pudgy little waist, sweet innocent eyes won my heart immediately. How fun would it be for the kids to have a little bundle of joy to follow them all over the property, frolicking, playing, laughing, petting. I could see the whole thing played out like an award winning family motion picture. We have a big yard, it is already fenced in, the kids love to play outdoors so it won't be lonely. The only expense would be to get her fixed (why do we call it that?) and dog food. Surely we can handle that. We need her and she needs us.

I call my man, I tell him to go ahead and say "no". He does and then I give him the pitch, still the answer is "no". I email pictures but the reply I get is "no". I am thinking, "Man, what is the deal! Can't he just consider it!" So we keep the dog for about half and day and it gets 5 names: Puppy, Sissy, Jelly Bean (my favorite), Co-Co, Chocolate Chip. The kids frolic and play with the little pup. We have a picnic outside, she eats the dropped pieces of hotdog, they run around and play some more. Then she curls up and takes a nap on our deck. It is all just like the sappy little movie in my head. By two in the afternoon, the newness was wearing off. The kids were ready to come back inside. We returned her next door and said our goodbyes. There still was a glimmer of hope, but as I noticed the kids having zero emotional trauma from returning her, I began to realize it was fun for a day. None of us were really ready for a 10 year commitment. My man was right, the answer is, no.

I am so glad we had this puppy for a day, well half a day. It reminded me of how emotions can really blind us from the truth. Emotions can be like a lie. I look back on life and I made so many "emotional" decisions that led me astray. They guided me off the path of righteousness and pulled me further away from God. Sure getting a puppy probably would not wreck our family life and there isn't any scripture that I can think of that would support adopting abandoned puppies. The point is it went against what we had agreed together as a couple. I love that God gives us choices. He is not about dictatorship. I just want to make choices that are not based on feeling but on the truth that comes from His word and from His spirit.

Boy, am I analytical or what. A life lesson to myself spurred on by an abandoned dog. I think way too much!

little friends

Hot dog lunch by candle light, anyone?

Popsicles taste GOOD!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

little chef

  • Cooking for Kids with Luis

  • This guy is PRECIOUS! The cutest little chef I ever laid eyes on! It's amazing what he is creating! This post and link is for you little Neely!

    Alone, really all alone.

    I am sitting here at the computer alone. The only the sounds are the ceiling fan generating a calming breeze and a few cars passing by. To me this is should be heavenly. #1 & 2 are at a friend's house and #3 is hopefully napping. I feel that I should be running around accomplishing a million things while I have this uninterrupted time alone, but all I want to do is nothing. I just want to sit and be quiet.

    Today me and the gang went to a library to meet up with a home school co-op group. They had a science club meeting that was to last for one hour. Well two and half hours it was finally over. #1 had a ton of fun. (If you read this earlier this is now the edited version of my post.) I have mixed feelings about whether or not we should join the group. I have had a hard time expressing my experience without coming across as judgmental. That is not my heart. I desire to convey God's love to everyone. The people who formed the group don't mind if Christians join, they just don't want religious beliefs to be impressed on any one. Kinda like China, its fine if you are a Christian but just don't talk about it with anyone else. I thought it would not be an issue but it seemed to be obvious by some of the comments made by a few parents, religion should not be a topic of conversation. I honestly don't want to surround myself or my kids with Jesus loving freaks all the time. Chitty chat chitty chat..........

    Well I will type more later, the quiet moment is gone. Here is #3 with wet panties. I don't think she ever went to sleep.

    .....Amazing, her bed is not even wet. Ok, she is in my bed now. Maybe she'll drift off. Nah, doubt it. Oh well, how about some TV #3?

    Wednesday, September 28, 2005

    ebaying my day away

    In our junk closet I have had some items that I have intended to list on ebay. They have been sitting there for over 6 months. So today was the day to pull them out. I set up the big white beach towel for a photo shoot of used misc. stuff that I feel still has some worth. Loaded the pics on the computer and then went through the trouble of listing all of them on the site. As I reflect back on the hours it took to do this, I am wondering is it all worth it? And now I have the continual lingering feeling that I need to check my ebay status. I mean checking it once and hour (sometimes more), could that be considered obsessive? It's crazy how I love to look at the counters. It just thrills me to know other people like to look at my junk! Especially when they bid, that means they value my junk!

    #3 only had one accident today. I am so proud of her. I think it is for real! NO more diapers!

    Oh, we're watching this show, 1/2 ton man. The people had to bust out a wall to get this guy out of his house. During the demolition, what is he doing? Smoking a freaking cigarette!
  • 1,000 Man Pound
  • Article about Katrina

    Someone sent me this link today. I enjoyed reading the article and thought others might also.
  • "In Katrina I didn't see..."
  • Tuesday, September 27, 2005

    potty train

    Well the potty train has pulled up to stop at our house and #3 has jumped right on. I am shocked at how well she is adjusting. Some how all of our kids have become potty trained at 25 months. This one has been almost too easy. I tried to put a diaper on her tonight at bed time and she refused it. So she is wearing pink barbie panties with a diaper on top of them. The older kids have really been encouraging her. They ask her all the time if she needs to poop. If #3 poops in the potty everybody gets to celebrate by eating candy!

    #3 & #2 got into a cat fight right before bedtime. Arms straight out just slapping each other. #1 and I looked at each other and we just had to laugh. As they rolled over on top of my feet, I picked up #3 and laid her right on top of #2. Then #1 and I got on the floor with them. We all wrestled around for a few minutes and in the end the girls were hugging and saying their "I'm sorries".

    #2 was very emotional when I tucked her in bed. She was silently crying. I knew no sound meant she was truly troubled. I asked her the classic, "why are you crying" question, getting the typically girly response, "I don't know". I gently explained that it is because we are girls and sometimes we just do this. It was such a sweet moment. We held each other for a long time. She does require a lot of snuggling. I really love it. You can't get close enough when you snuggle with #2. She is asleep now and looking so peaceful. #3 just popped her head around the corner with her arms held out. Guess she needs a few more squeezes too.

    Monday, September 26, 2005

    Back in the groove

    Started back on a normal routine today. It felt real good. In fact it was a great day. Don't have much to say. I have been thinking a lot about prayer. Sunday morning I got up early, sat and did nothing but try to "not think" and just worship and pray. My mind wants to take me on so many little trips and I get so easily distracted. Today I viewed a short video about two missionaries with Gospel for Asia. Both men talked about praying for hours and fasting. Could I really do that? I mean hours? I mean I am not saying they are super Christians and I need to be just like them. I just want to be able to shut up, my mind, for 15 to 30 minutes and be in prayer and praise to God. I can't imagine myself doing that longer than 15 minutes. I don't know, I don't feel God is asking me too. I really want to pray with a purpose, a purpose not to just better my life. I will think of a country and then I go blank, don't know what to say. "God reveal to me what you desire to hear from me. Burden me with a heart for the lost. May my thoughts and my prayers bring you glory and keep me eternally focused."

    One last side thought. Personal opinion: if you get a tattoo with your name or even someone else's name, like your kid or even a picture of your dead dog, on you, I think it is really dumb. I love tattoos, not all tattoos, just the ones that are... you know, like I like. I would post a picture of mine but honestly it's just too cool to let the world wide web see.

    Sunday, September 25, 2005

    I am back with tears in my eyes

    Seems crazy that we were gone for almost 2 weeks straight. We also basically took two weeks off from school. I was nervous about that at first but that is the beauty of homeschooling. It was kinda sad saying goodbye to the beach, summer is over now. I have even noticed I have started eating like summer is over. Getting back home to my man felt so good. My eyes filled up with tears as I put my arms around his neck. The next morning #1 had his first soccer game. He scored a goal. I cried a little, I was just so proud. Oh he looked so good in his little uniform. He was also the tallest kid out there. I forget how above average his height is until we are around a ton of 5 & 6 year olds. I really am so emotional. I teared up leaving my mother-in -law at the beach. I just love her. I cried on the way home b/c I am a freak. I went to the play "Menopause" last night with my mom, aunt and a bunch of their friends. It was kinda weird b/c I think I was the youngest girl in the whole audience. I began laughing so hard that my eyes were tearing up. It really was hilarious. Today after Kidstuf at church, #2 went to go meet some of the actors and directors. She looked up at Alyson, the host, and she gave her this enormous grin that had "I admire you" written all over it. Just looking at #2's sweet little face, I got teary eyed. The amount of love I feel for my kids....well there is just no word to describe. It's amazing. I know my kids can never in turn love me like I love them, it doesn't matter at all, though. Reminds me of how much my Father loves me. He created me and desires to bless me. I will never love him the same, I am incapable, but it is so comforting to know that he unconditionally loves me....beyond my wildest dreams. My man and I had a China talk again today. God is leading. Oh I cried a little after that talk too. Why, heck if I know, maybe I need a good hard cry and get it all out or maybe I am just getting really soft at my dear old age of 30. Who knows. Thinking about it makes me chuckle out loud. Chuckle, what a funny little word. OH. Reading Revolution in World Mission, K.P. Yohannan (Gospel for Asia). This guy is RIGHT ON! I mean he is on it! Loving it! I will journal thoughts about the book when I am finished.

    Monday, September 19, 2005

    Leave today

    I will be out until Friday. I got up and walked this morning. I forgot my music, so my mind wandered way too much. Result, there is a gray cloud over my head. It is not my desire to feel this way. I hate this inwardness, is that even a word? This morning I was reviewing the "Lord's Prayer", trying to figure out just what does God want me to talk to Him about. I spend a lot of time focusing on the details of my life, sometimes as if I am trying to map out to God what I think he should accomplish in my life. I really want no agenda, just to be used and to praise Him uncontrollably. I am off to make my bed and to fill my head with His praise.

    Sunday, September 18, 2005

    finally have a profile

    I finally took the time to create a profile.

    Feeling lazy

    I am getting paralyzed by my mind telling me all that I need to accomplish. Instead of just getting on a task I am sitting listening to the list go on and on. I really feel lazy and a bit sad. All last week I was away from my man, and it has been a busy weekend, and all I want to do is curl up with him and watch a movie or something, and the way time is scheduled for this week, it will be at least next Saturday before that can happen. Truth is I got good snuggling time the past two nights, I am just being negative thinking it will be another long week with out him. I am happy to head to the beach, he'll be in Texas, I need to be positive and thankful that I have a man like him, and a marriage like ours. Be happy, Oh gosh here I go again, so self absorbed. It's a beautiful day. The kids look extra precious today. Man, what an awesome church service I got to experience. See, I already have a huge smile on my face. I can hear #3 screaming continually, I guess I should go see if she's upset or just screaming to amuse herself.......My smile is growing, my joy is increasing.

    Saturday, September 17, 2005


    Me and the kids joined my parents at the beach this past week. I thought Ophelia was going to mess everything up, but we were spared as she headed north instead. We leave again for the beach, Gulf Coast this time, on Monday.

    Thursday, September 8, 2005

    Fired up

    First off, I am frustrated with Blogger, it is SO slow. I might be moving my site, same name just a different place.

    Big day today:

    1. After only 3 days of trying, #1 is riding his bike with out training wheels, I cried as if he just took his first step.

    2. #1 has really taken to his reading lessons and he is doing so well. He read part of a book today. I was misty eyed with joy.

    3. Me and the kids celebrated a new friends birthday at PUMP it UP. Loved it, slides & moon walks, we all had a blast.

    4. #1 went to bed thinking he could conquer the world.

    (Changing subjects, I say this for my man)

    We are watching a show called-Going Tribal, on Discovery. This episode is about a tribe in Africa and their religion. Women cooking, gathering food, breast feeding all at the same time. One woman gave birth, no drugs, no doctors, so foreign for Americans to ponder. They showed a funeral, people wailing, I mean wailing, lying in the streets, screaming crying, on and on. This show is the bomb! We were talking about how these people have never heard of Jesus Christ yet they have a religion (God put in all of us a desire to know him). Here is a thought. Maybe they would be worshipping the big J. C. instead of some false spirits who reside in the jungle if Christians of days past and present had been truly obedient to God's mandate. This is a quote from Leading The Way "Take the results of a survey conducted in early August 2005 by Newsweek and Beliefnet. More than 1,000 Americans were asked what they believe and how they practice their faith. Perhaps what is most interesting — and disturbing — about the results is that 68 percent of evangelical Protestants and 83 percent of non-evangelical Protestants said that yes, according to their own religious beliefs, "a good person" who isn't of their religious faith can "go to heaven or attain salvation." When did we become so brilliant that we can shape, twist and out whit the word and mind of God. Seriously, does it make us feel invincible that we can label and claim salvation for those who never acknowledge Christ as their SAVIOR, not just a cheap easy ticket out of hell. I am not talking about religion. I am talking about God NEVER changes. Jesus Himself said: "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6, NIV). I don't hear any other options in that verse. No one. Think about that. How many people have never heard of Christ? It just sounds harsh, but the reality is we are all given a choice, we are not forced to love God, we just love ourselves more. It's sin and it's a disease. I fight the battle constantly, and many, many, many, (should I keep stressing) times lose. How many prayers do we voice on our own behalf? Ok I got to quit. I'm getting all fired up, I am about ready to offer an invitation and have my man sing Just as I am. Seriously I am tired. Good night.

    Wednesday, September 7, 2005

    #2 in her room

    #2 dressed herself today. Notice how the tights are barely hanging on.

    Tuesday, September 6, 2005

    human touch

    Sitting here surfing on the web, the house is completely quiet. All the sudden I hear a little sweet, snotty, congested sneeze. There is #3, pillow, blanket, baby dolly in her hand. I wish I had my camera at the desk, she looked so sweet. Of course I had to give her the stern look and say, "Go back to bed". This is not her first time up tonight. My man is at Perspectives tonight (take the class, it will change your life, I promise!) so I am just clicking away on the computer. Do you ever have times when you are just browsing eBay, reading other people's blogs, hypnotized by boggle on, and you look over at the clock on the night stand and 2 plus hours have passed, and you are like, "What the heck have I accomplished?" The time is posted on the top right corner of my screen, for some reason I just choose to not acknowledge it there. This scenario probably bothers more women than men.
    Oh no, what is that noise?.... Just #3 again, filling her bed with earthly pleasures. Sometimes as we are locking up at night, making the final rounds, peeking in on our sleeping beauties, #3 has gobs of misc. toys all over and around her. Other times it looks like she has used her toddler bed as a prayer alter and fallen asleep while praying, half on the bed and half off. She is so delicious. I could just eat all my kids up. That takes me down a mental path I have been strolling through lately. Human touch. It is amazing. How incredible was it for Adam when he first touched Eve, well I won't go there, I am just implying that hugs, love, kisses;there is nothing like it. (Every time you watch Survivor, notice it only takes a few days for these strangers to begin hugging, and some even snuggling, filling that desire we all have for physical touch. Yes I watch that show. We have only missed one episode since the original one first aired. We are pitiful! OH, another tangent, I saw T-Bird from survivor 3, she lives near us and she was at our pediatrician office today. She looked like a movie star, skinny, really tan, she is in commercial real-estate, yes I listened in on her phone conversation, couldn't help it, she was talking really loud.) ANYWAY...Some mornings #3 & #2 come and climb in bed with me, oh it is the best. #2 likes to just glue herself to your body, she's has always been that way since straight out of the womb. #3 tackles me with hugs and kisses, and flops herself across my chest, arms, and sometimes my face. Those mornings, I can't make it out of the bed to walk. Each hug and kiss I receive from my kids is a gift, a limited time offer, well sort of. One day they will be out on their own, married, snuggling with my grandkids, I won't be able to cash in on those precious moments everyday like I get to now. It is thoughts like this that cause me to stop and PRAISE my heavenly Father for the opportunity I have to stay home with them. I love it. God you can put me in China, Germany or even Bangladesh, as long as I am with my family of 5 and in your will, I will be just fine.

    Monday, September 5, 2005

    almost to heaven

    Yesterday my grandmother spoke at her best friend's funeral. They were best friends for 45 years, isn't that amazing? Her name was Mama Polly, and she was 84 years old. I seriously cannot imagine living that long. I remember thinking when we celebrated 7 years of marriage that high school took 7 years to complete, and at the time, it seemed like it would take forever for me to graduate. But 7 years of marriage, it flew by. I remember when I thought 30 seemed kinda old, now I am 30, and it seems and feels so young. Any way, during the funeral I saw all these really old people. Mama Polly's husband, Breezy, was there, short, thin, frail, sitting in a wheel chair. He had this happy grin on his face. Yes he shed a few tears during the service but it was obvious he was rejoicing, knowing she is in heaven running around with old friends, and can you imagine, she has actually seen Christ. WOW, that fires me up! Seriously! I sat and looked at all these old people and I really envied them. They are 2 to 10 years away from complete freedom! I am excited for them. Their journey is almost over and yet I feel like mine has just begun. Mama Polly was an incredible lady, loved and admired by so many. I sat and thought about how I hope to feel when/if I make it to 80. I hope I don't sit around and complain of aliments, get frustrated that I haven't seen my grandkids in months. Every day has a purpose and I want to still be living my life with joy. I pray and hope it will be evident just as it was in Breezy.

    Friday, September 2, 2005

    Random thoughts

    My mind is chasing so many thoughts: Katrina, New Orleans, frustrations, I ate too much at dinner, Mississippi, devastation, good lovin, my man, George W. Bush, sleep, fresh cut grass, why am I such an idiot sometimes? I am exhausted from thinking, I am just going numb. So that is it for tonight, I am going to curl up and snuggle with the one who was perfectly created for me and get lost in TV land.

    Oh, one last thought, Rev. Jesse Jackson; that man drives me crazy, I mean really, he makes me sick!

    Oh, #2, isn't she beautiful. If you ask her to describe herself, she'll say, " I am weird." Aren't we all?