blah, blah, blah

Thursday, August 31, 2006

playing in the rain

Late this afternoon, I asked #1 to run some laps around the house to get some energy out. He loves to do this. I time him to see if he can improve his time with each lap. Well it was overcast but no rain. #3 joined in the fun and by the next lap #2. Then the bottom fell out and they just kept running in the rain. They had a blast.

bad habits are hard to break

I am back to my old ways! Staying up late and sleeping in. My mind keeps racing every night with all the stuff I need to accomplish so it's been really hard for me to fall asleep which causes me to justify sleeping late. I used to get up early and walk most mornings, but that routine seems like a distant memory and one I am procrastinating to relive. I can tell my body needs the walks. I put on pair of pants and they were a bit snug. Maybe if I walked around the house all day in a bathing suit it would motivate me to throw away the mayonnaise jar and get my butt out of bed and do something. I know that no woman is never completely satisfied with her body. Every girl wants tweaks and revisions. Funny thing is, one day you can look in the mirror and say to yourself, "Girl, you are so fine, you don't need to change a thing?" Then 5 minutes later your come back to make sure you don't have a panty line and you realize you were mistaken. Your hair looks out of date and that skirt kinda "makes" your butt look really large, and so on and so on. Oh well, such is life.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

out of the blue

My #2 is really not the deep thinker in the family. You can ask her how she feels or what she is thinking about and more than likely her response is silent. Well yesterday in the car, she surprised me by asking, "MaMa, what do you think PaPa is doing right now in heaven?" Strange thing is, PaPa is my grandfather who died when she was just a year old. Next thing you know #1 jumped right in with his opinion and then we three shared a glorious conversation about eternity. You know, the older I get the more excited I become about what God has in store for us.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

brain overload

Could my head be filled with any more thoughts? Honestly sometimes, I think it is going to explode. It's like an insane sped up game of Atari Pong. Ideas, pictures, scenarios - bouncing off one wall of my brain to another at rapid speeds. UGH! So tonight as I was washing dishes I could hear a gentle voice calling me to get away. So I took a nice long walk and it helped me to slow down a bit. I know my Creator gave me an over active brain. I love to think and I LOVE to analyze things, but I want that brain power to be used to glorify Him, rather than to create worry, criticism and strife. I lose focus and my self centeredness takes over and I spend so much energy pondering on things that don't mean crap!

I do want to mention the HIGHLIGHT of my day! My best friend and college roommate had her 3rd baby a week ago. We headed up north to visit with them after church. OH, he is just so precious. I just couldn't hardly put him down. It was such a relaxing afternoon.

nighty night!

Saturday, August 26, 2006

happy birthday #3

Today #3 turned 3!
What an amazing gift she is.
Go check out her Daddy's site.
I can't believe my baby is 3!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

its been a blog of a year

I just realized I have been blogging now for a complete year! I am impressed with myself. Normally I get real excited about something and once the newness wears off, I am done with it. I guess it is a habit that is here to stay. I never knew I would enjoy sharing intimate details of my life with the world wide web. It's been like one big life scrapbook for me. I was revisiting my entries from this past year and it was great to relive stuff that I had forgotten about. Thought I'd list a few that I enjoyed rereading the most.

1. My first ever post! (getting it all done) A moment where I was overwhelmed and lost it with the kids. Nice way to start things out : )

2. Pornography- absolutely hate it!

3. Grossest moment of my life! don't throw up

4. Unsightly hair! ouch

5. Never a grandmother

6. Precious thoughts

For you who reads my junk, thanks. My blog is simply just a daily journal. It's been unexpected and completely awesome to make friends all over the world this past year. Here's to another!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

my afternoon with the repair man

This post is going to be raw/real. I hope it doesn't offend anyone. This is my perception, which doesn't mean it is universal reality, it is only reality to me. I am labeling people, with the intent to only paint a clear picture of the experience.

I have always lived in the south. I grew up in a white neighborhood. In my elementary classes there were maybe 2 or 3 black kids, and those kids were typically poor and lived in government housing. Growing up and watching the news, 99% of the faces they posted of criminals were black men.

In 2nd grade there was a boy named Calvin in my class. We would always joke around and I liked to feel the top of his head. He was black and I had never felt hair like that. We'd both laugh about it but the teacher discouraged us and inserted a note in my report card referring to the inappropriate behavior. I remember thinking what did I do wrong? I honestly don't remember thinking anything especially negative towards black people. Well I take that back, in my mind I probably thought the people I came encounter with were poor, but I don't recall any other negatives feelings. That changed one day in 6th grade when two 5th grade black girls accused me of putting my hand in their face. Honestly I had never spoken to them a day in my life. They would curse me in the hall, yell out stupid threats and I became scared. I was walking to a friend's house after school one day and they tried to jump me. (I put this story in my elementary days post) Freddy, a tall sweet black kid that had a crush on me, intervened and I never had trouble from them again. The high school years that followed, my experience with black girls left a very negative impression on me. They would bump into me in the hall and yell out "bitch move out of my way!" One day I was waiting to use the pay phone during lunch. I was next in line and a black girl had been talking twice as along as the time limit. I asked her to please get off. She verbally bashed me. ANYWAYS. The point is my perception became my reality and at the heart, it wasn't good. I couldn't understand their culture, it made me feel uncomfortable, so I labeled it as bad.

I never thought I would come back and live in the same neighborhood as I grew up. My kids would go to my elementary school if we didn't homeschool. Now, they would be in the minority as one of maybe 3 white kids per class. Our county has changed to where whites are very much the minority. Coming back to my home town, I have been asking God to deal with me about my racism. I have asked him to send me a black person that I can be open with to talk to and gain understanding of their perception. Who knew His answer would be through the refrigerator repair man.

Early yesterday morning I call the first appliance repair service listed in the yellow pages. Tim calls me back. He tells me he'll be there between 10 and 12. Noon comes, still no Tim. I begin thinking, this is rude. Just call and tell me you are running late. 12:30, Tim calls, he'll be here soon. Okay, so the door bell rings. Note: I am being completely honest, these were my thoughts. Pretty shameful okay!
1. I know he is black from talking with him on the phone.
2. He doesn't make eye contact and is not very polite. It makes me nervous.
3. He is missing a few teeth in the front and has a gold cap on another. I think he must be poor and not very smart.
4. He smells like smoke. Ugh, why do all repair men smoke!
5. He begins to diagnose the problem and I begin to fear he is going to take me for a ride.

I was SO SO wrong! For the next four and a half hours we talked openly and candidly about religion and racial issues. Tim was one the smartest self educated men I have ever met. The guy knew so much about history, world religion and the scriptures. He grew up in the church and then rebelled once out of his dad's farming house (he was #8 out of 13 kids!) He read the Koran and became Muslim for 10 years. He was a drug user and did not have any respect for women. God used a woman from his past that he had not seen in 17 years to transform him and break free from the bondage he was in. He now is a group leader at a Southern Baptist clinic in the heart of the city that ministers to troubled teens and drug addicts. He was able to share with me and I with him our first experiences with people of the opposite race and the impact it had on our lives. We talked about religious denomination issues, he grew up Church of Christ and disliked Southern Baptist, yet he now works with them. He explained to me why Islam is so appealing to black men. We even felt comfortable to joke about the differences of whites and blacks. At one point he said, "You know, black people discipline their kids different from whites" I looked at him and we both just started to laugh and agree, so we talked about that for a while. We talked and talked. He talked about his anger towards white people and how it took reading the prayers of a "negro slave for her white master" to motivate him to change. I explained my fears of the black race and how it all began with the media and the girls from my elementary days. I could go on and on. It was amazing how real we were able to be.

I am changed as a result of spending time with Tim. For a few brief hours we both were able to be vulnerable and view race from another color's eyes. He thanked me for expressing my fears of black people and I thanked him for helping me gain understanding of their heritage. Here in the deep south, blacks and whites have a long way to go to overcome all the crap that has happened in past. People can't bridge that gap, only the redeeming love of Christ can. I am so grateful to have gained this experience. I pray it will impact me forever.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

a slap in the face from reality

First off, thanks everybody for your sweet words of encouragement regarding our BIG NEWS! I really appreciate it!

Well I had an great week at the beach with my mom and dad. They always let us crash on part of their vacation. It was really relaxing and with one adult per child, it made for an easy week. Plus my mom spoiled me by doing all the laundry. So we get home and reality quickly sets in. We are trying purchase a new car for my man, that TOTALLY stresses me out. Thankfully he did most of the leg work while I was gone. I have to say he does a great job at researching to insure we are making a wise decision. Still, shopping interest rates and finding the exact car at the dealership that will give us the exact price we want, ugh! But hopefully by tomorrow we'll be all done and my man will be scootin back and forth to work in a new Honda Civic.

I had hoped to begin school again yesterday. Funny thinking because I was totally not being realistic. We came home to a clean clutter free home, well the bathrooms could use some work. After we unloaded all the junk from the car, the mess began. Then yesterday the kids enjoyed every toy they own. We tried to clean up once but within 30 minutes they were into their play again and everything was out of place. It does sound like I am complaining, but they got along so well, all of them were so creative and entertained I could hardly get them to the dinner table. That made me a happy mama. We can always clean up tomorrow.

Here is where I begin to whine. Remember how I said everything is breaking all around us. Well, my refrigerator is on its way out. Sunday when I pulled out the icecream to make milkshakes for the kids, I noticed it was very soft. I just passed it off and thought nothing much of it. Then yesterday when a popsicle was dripping all down the inside of the freezer door, I knew we were in trouble. My first reaction was to kick the thing and scream. I held it together and opted for denial. I turned the knobs up to the coldest setting and said, this is all in my head. Well it is not. We've owned the thing 7 years and this will be its 3rd repair. Don't ever buy a Hotpoint. It's a piece of poop! But on the positive side, maybe I will only have to pay one repair visit and someone can work on my dishwasher too. I am beginning to really miss it. Using one at the beach a seeing how convenient it is, made me long for mine to be repaired.

Ok, I am off the make a list of all the junk I need to accomplish today. Just as I typed that I realized the I in that statement. The first thing I need to remember is that God is accomplishing things, with or without me. I may write out a task list that will order the day my way, but I need to remember it's his agenda not my own that will satisfy.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

so... here's the news

It is OFFICIAL - we are adding a member to the FAMILY! No, I am not pregnant, but soon there will be an unknown Chinese woman who will conceive my next baby girl! I want to cry just typing this! Seriously - if you know us, the standard response to the question "So, you guys going to have any more kids?" has been the following, "No, I am not carrying anymore (after 3 c-sections I had my tubes ties) but one day, who knows, when we might adopt a baby from China" Well, it is time. It's been really amazing how God has confirmed the timing to begin this long long process. The whole family has been on board for a while, it just took me surrendering some fears over and trusting God in a BIG new way. When I got the call this week that we had been accepted, I felt like I had just read the positive sign on my first pregnancy test. We are all so excited. I have been at the beach with my parents for a week and its been killing me that I have had to wait to blog about it.

okay, I have to keep this short. I have a lot to accomplish, I just had to shout the news!


I am still living, I have just been out of town for a week. I have some SUPER DUPER exciting news that I will post later!

Be back later.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

piggy banks

#1 is in need of money. He has certain lego sets that he feels he just has to have. He recently used almost all his piggy bank money to buy an Exo-force lego robot dude. Now his fund are low. In fact he should have no money at all. For some reason this week, he dared his sister, #2, to drink apple juice with ketchup in it. He said he'd give her all the money is his piggy bank if she was brave enough to do it. I heard this proposition and I questioned him on it. #1 said, "I really mean it, I will give her all my money." Like any smart kid would do, she drank it. Later they both forgot about the wager. So, yesterday he came up to me and asked me to help him count all the money in his pig, I reminded him of what he told is sister and that all of his money now belonged to her. Tears welled up in his eyes. Mommy, "I really want to buy a $10 batman lego set". He has almost half the money saved up. I told him to go talk with his sister and maybe she'd let him keep some of it. BAD IDEA! He smoothed talked her into keeping only his pennies and letting him have all the rest. Poor girl she fell for the scam completely. The final result was a long lecture about integrity, when you give someone your "word" you stick to it. #2 was gracious enough to agree to only take half of his money. She was thrilled, #1 was upset yet relieved at the same time. Now he is just begging me to do chores so he can earn some fast cash. I haven't implemented a chore chart or allowances, I guess now is the time.

side note: Just read how the experts say not to link chores with allowances. Chores should be done regardless of an award. My kids do "chores" even though they have not chart to list them on and mark them off. I am not a good list maker any way. Hmmm. I have never paid them for chores, I just divide extra change we have around the house between all the kids. What works for you?

Saturday, August 12, 2006

could something else break?

What has been going on, I mean breaking, at our house: Two cable modems got fried within 24 hours of each other due to some severe lightening storms so we've been without internet for almost a week. My man's car has had some issues and the mechanic blames the troubles on a previous mechanic, plus they want to charge us gobs of money to fix it. We'll be a one car family for almost a week. The lightening storm caused us to have to have a mother board replaced on our PC Computer. Thankfully we bought an extended warranty which covered everything. We also have to replace our router which got fried from the storm as well. Oh, and the lawn mower we jointly share with my dad and aunt was out of service for a week. I am almost afraid to use any major appliance thinking something else expensive is about to break!

I feel out of touch with all my blogging friends. Hopefully I can spend some time today and get caught up with everybody.

Well, I am have off to have, hopefully, a "break" free day!

Tuesday, August 8, 2006

good morning greeting from my son

I walk in the door early in the morning from exercising and I am greeted by #1.

Him - "Mommy, sit down. I want to show you all the stuff my new Lego thing can do."

Me - I sit down at the table

Him - "Uh, Mommy, you smell like (hesitate) you know ... P .. O.. P"

Me - "I smell like pop?"

Him - "No, sorry, not pop, uh ... P..O..O..P"

Me - "Thanks"

I never knew my sweat smelled so bad.

Monday, August 7, 2006

don't talk smack about macs

Computers are glorious things. They can also be a big pain in the booty. We've had a mac for almost 3 years. It's been awesome. I had always worked on a PC before and I found the macs to be so much easier to use. Well about a year ago we had a problem with it. Then this past week, another. So with the original problem still plaguing us and then the new one, I was one frustrated mama. You don't know just how much you depend on the things until they break! We made the decision to take advantage of the tax free weekend here in GA and the special 9% discount they were offering to teachers, (homeschooling perk). We got a new iMac. It's beautiful. I really like it. I hate spending money on stuff like that. I remember what we paid for our first computer right after we got married. It was insane how much computers cost back then. Now they are a fraction of that cost. The best thing about getting our new computer is that is came with a free printer (scanner and copier included) and also a FREE IPOD NANO. Uh, Did you hear that? That was just me squealing like a little girl. I have a shuffle, but you can't see what song comes next and I am always going -one song forward three back - ah, now there is my song I was looking for. I have loved my shuffle but I feel like a BIG GIRL now with my new NANO. It's the perfect size for me and the absolute best thing was IT WAS FREE! So, it made spending the dough not quite as painful.

Here are some silly pics we took with the program photo booth:

Saturday, August 5, 2006

so, um ... I didn't know

Ok, so how did I not know that the Chronicles of Narnia might not be an appropriate movie for a family with kids ranging for 2 (almost 3) through 6? I mean this really is a huge indicator of just how out of touch I am. Tonight all the kids wanted to run with me to Blockbuster to pick out a family movie. Note to self - this is never a great idea. All the kids want all different movies. The girls want the Barbie movie, #1 wants the boy stuff. It is SO difficult to agree. Well the minute we pulled into the parking spot the flood gates opened and it just POURED. I mean it looked like we had stepped out of the shower we got so wet. I could seriously ring my hair out. Then we get in there and they can't accept debit cards b/c the storm has their phone lines down. OF COURSE I have zero cash, so we head back out in the rain to get cash. I have the great idea to hit the grocery store pick up a few things and get so cash there. We go to check out, no luck, the storm has messed up their machine and I can only use a charge card. SO I had promised a movie, so I still need to find cash. Back out in the rain again, and to the bank. Get the money and back to Blockbuster. Now we are in the family section and I see Narnia. I think wow, this would be great. I "heard" it was good and C.S. Lewis wrote the book, so this should be the one. The kids are reluctant but I push for it. I won. We get home. WOW. Let me tell ya. I really liked it, but it was weird hearing my four year old daughter say ... "I hope Peter cuts that witches head off!" The girls did get frightened but none of the kids wanted us to turn it off. So we kept going forward. In the end, #2 kept saying, "I loved it mommy, I loved it!" I glad she wasn't terrified and hopefully all will have sweet non violent dreams tonight.

These pics were taken of the kids yesterday. Though the kids have never watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, #1 has a lego set with all of them. #1 had the idea to make bandanas like the real ninja turtles wear them.
#1 ... he is trying to smile like his Lego Ninja Turtle smiles.

Friday, August 4, 2006

the heat and bones

It's going to be another hot one. The past two days we have been in a pool trying to find relief from the heat. I really don't remember last year being this hot. My yard needs a lot of attention but I cannot stand being out. Oh well, the weeds win this year.

YES my man is home. AHHHHH! It was crazy how much I missed him. Poor guy, he's sleep is still all messed up. It takes a while to recover from all the jet lag. He was awake at 3:30 this morning and he could never go back to sleep.

Ok, here are a few pics from Monday when we got the cat bones. #1 thought the discovery was so cool, the girls felt sad for the cat. I bleach them, boiled them, bleached them again, and then I let them dry out for a few days. We plan on scraping one of the bones and looking at it through the microscope.

Cat Bones