alive

I feel alive today. I struggled to get out of the bed today, but I made it. Decided to jog instead of walk today. It did me good. My body feels energized. It's going to be a great day.

Thanks Lord for encouraging me to get up. Thank You for the peace You place within me. Thanks for Your unfailing love. Use me today. I want to be consumed by You. I am singing Your deserved praise today. I love you.

The decorating is done

Check out my SUPER cheap Christmas wreath. See, I am not a person who goes all out decorating for the holidays, any holiday. But I am changing. This is a grape vine wreath I got for 2 bucks at a local craft store. For the fall I hot glued colorful leaves around it and some Nandina berries. I have to admit, I loved it. It was the simplicity that really got me excited. So, I tore off the leaves and replaced them with fresh Fraser Fir sprigs. At first I wrapped a huge silver snowflake ribbon around it ... hated it. But as I was gazing out my kitchen window this morning I noticed our Holy Tree was covered in red berries. And that is how my wreath evolved. Over all I am more into decorating this year. I even have two trees in the house. My mom-inlaw gave me an extra fake one she had. It sat in the shed last holiday season packed up in a box. Well this year I got it out. I am glad I did. My mom and the kids decorated tress for their rooms, so with 4 festive evergreens in our home, I am feeling a bit like Martha Stuart. Well not really. I guess I am in to this year.

Oh, a side note about fake trees. This is my first year to have one. I love the way a real tree smells and looks. It is never perfect, it constantly sheds, and it looks REAL. Okay the fake one is definitely for control freaks. You can bend it, mold, it, spruce it, hang outrageously heavy ornaments on it, you can make it what you want. It irritated me. It scratched me, it's rough, brittle, not sturdy, has no real trunk, it looks fake. I am honestly glad I have it, It adds a lot of warmth to the room, but I was just glad to know that maybe I truly am breaking away from my controlling ways. I prefer the untameable real thing. I am not saying you are a control freak if you own a fake tree, but if you are, my guess is you really enjoy a submissive Christmas tree.

This blog sucks tonight. OH well. Merry Christmas everyone.

"myself is bothering me"

Today, #1 & 2 were helping me string some popcorn for one of our Christmas trees. #1 shot a dirty look in response to his sister's frustrated gaze. He sharply replied, "Quick looking at me that way." Her brilliant response, "I am not looking at you. It is me. Myself is bothering me." What a clever response. I will have to use that one sometime.

Thanksgiving is officially over

We celebrated Thanksgiving with my man's family on Thanksgiving day. Yesterday we had a family birthday party for #1 & #2. Today we had Thanksgiving with my family. So its over. I feel 10 pounds heavier. I am now ready to get the tree and gear up for Christmas.

I really am on a high right now. Honestly, being around large groups, especially extended families used to stress me out. This year I enjoyed every minute of it. I am not exactly sure what the difference was. You know, it has to be God. I am not sure how to put it in words. It's like being so humbled by His outrageous love, it drives me to love Him more and more. It creates within me this desire to love everyone differently ... than I have before. Sincerely love them. Even my husband's cousin's piece of crap husband. I look at him and just have this longing for him to know and love the Creator. I soaked up every minute I could. What a great Thanksgiving.

I praise you Father for your grace, your mercy and your never ending love. Thank you Lord for loving me. I don't deserve an ounce of it. God please use me to express your love to others. Through my failures, my pride, through every weakness I have, may You still be glorified. Refine me precious Jesus. May I never cease to recognize my need for You.

happy thanksgiving

I had cabin fever real bad today. We have not been anywhere since Saturday. The girls have been too sick to get out. When I woke up this morning they were both running around like wild Indians, so we made a trip to the grocery store. It was a mad house. You could not hardly move through the aisles.

My man got off work early today. It was nice. He spent some time putting together the perfect my little pony bicycle for #2. She loves it. I mean really. We all went outside and cheered her on as daddy coached her along. She did pretty good. Soon all the kids were riding around showing off. I was on a high. I love it when my man comes into my every day world. Like there has been some times when he had to work late and I was at the grocery store with the kids, and he surprises us and shows up. It thrills me. As the sun began to set the kids put up their bikes. #2 hug and kissed her dream pony ride four or five times. We ditched the home menu and headed to Cracker barrel. To sum it up, despite the cold wind and chill in the air, today being with my little family got me all warm and fuzzy.

been quiet lately

Both of the girls are sick and I think #1 is on his way. It is raining and cold so we've all been bums today. There is a lot I want to accomplish but the rain makes me feel so slow. I have a lot on my mind, not much that I want to share though, I know that is hard to believe. Normally I am an open book. I still feel joy inside, not depressed or anything. I feel something, maybe a lot of little things, looming in the distance that is trying to stress me. Crazy but I can't clearly see it. Deep breaths, smile, enjoy the moment. I really just wish sometimes I could turn my brain off. I mean the analytical part. I don't want to look back on this day and see I wasted energy thinking on things that are untrue, not happening, or not worth any time to think over. Good luck I am telling myself. Okay, now it does sound like I am down. I am not. I am just lazy today. Okay. I am off to do .... something, I don't know, oh, fold clothes.

by myself

I am all alone right now. Can't believe it. Completely alone and in my own, yes can you believe it, my own house. This never happens. Oh it feels so good. My mom came and picked up all 3 kids. They will all spend the night at her house. It's 3:30. I have until 7 when I meet my friend for dinner. This is so, I don't know. Wow. Well I am not going to waist my time on the computer. I just wanted to document the moment.

#2 turns 4

Today is #2's fourth birthday. We celebrated with four candles in her eggo blueberry waffles, a trip to the mall for portraits, dinner at her favorite restaurant with Mom-Mi and Grandow, and then home to have a homemade strawberry chocolate chip cake with vanilla icing and sprinkles. She played the part all day. She got in and out of the car first, ate cake first, wanted the biggest french fry at the table during dinner, ordered a milkshake as her beverage and she was in the center of our nightly group hug all because she had the title "Birthday Girl". I have been reflecting on the past four years of her little life. She is amazing. I was carrying her out of the bathroom tonight, she had her arms tight around my neck and we both looked in the mirror. I thought ... "I can't believe this beautiful little dynamite is mine, thanks God!" She gave me a great big kiss and squeezed me hard. I just love mom moments like that.

best friends

Lots of giggles and laughs tonight. #1 has finally mastered farting armpit noises. #2 wishes so bad she could do the same. She just stares up at him in awe. Then she tackles him with a great big hug and they both fall to the ground and wrestle. I love it. I cannot even begin to describe how elated it makes me seeing all my children being best friends. For me, they have the perfect balance: If they go to a park, they can easily make friends with new kids. They have several close play friends that they enjoy. They love to be together but at times choose to play alone. I enjoy just watching and hearing how they interact. I think because I am an only child it just fascinates me. The bond they share is for life. Friends can come and go, but family is for always, you don't have a choice. My hope and prayer is that when they are all grown up they will still not only be siblings but friends.

a picture of me

#1 created this picture of me. I look like a freaky clown. Normally all of his people are basic stick figures. For a creative writing assignment I asked him to draw a face. He studied mine and this is what he came up with. He was so proud of it. He said ... "It is really starting to look like a real person isn't?"

full of joy

Woke up this morning to a very messy kitchen. As I peered into the sink where bloated combos floated to greet me, I smiled. The trash was spilling over. As I lifted the lid and tossed our garbage in, I smiled. At breakfast, I managed to spill an entire glass of orange gatorade all over the kitchen floor. As I mopped it up, I smiled. Decided to do an overhaul on the pantry and some kitchen cabinets. It made me happy. #3 colored her arms, neck and tummy with marker. I saw her and laughed. She looks even cuter with a green belly button. I enter our bedroom and see the late afternoon rays highlighting the walls and floors, I am filled with peace. God, I will never understand why you bless me so much. All I know to do is to say thanks. I love you.

its just about my day

Funny little things that happened today: 1. After a snugly hug this morning, #1 asked me, "Mommy, can I ask you something? Why do you always smell so funny after you wake up?" 2. We had a friend over to play for about half the day. First thing the boys did was power up with Power Ranger suits. Next thing I see is #3 running after them with baggy britches, a power ranger mask on upside down, wild hair bobbing up and down as she runs after them through the house with an empty water gun making little pistol noises. 3. Realizing #1 hardly ever wears a shirt. It was pretty chilly today. As soon as I put the car in park after running our errands, off goes the shirt and he begins to run like a free man. Wish I could do that. 4. Poor Sophie. #3 loves to torture her. I don't know why she doesn't go and get lost once she sees #3 outside. #3's new trick is to pick Sophie up and push her over the porch railing. The thing that is so crazy is the dumb cat comes back up on the porch so she can do it again. 5. Both of the girls are boy crazy. I let all the kids have a picnic and watch a movie today. #3 plopped herself right in the friends lap. He is 6 and she is 2. It was sweet. He just let her stay there. His baby brother is her age. I guess he is used to it.

So more on the serious side. #2 is a sinner. She has been committing some pretty big ones lately: Lying and Stealing. She has tried to steal two things from two different friends this week. Well tonight I had enough. Continual disobedience. The thing is her big eyes can sometimes water everything down to the point you almost what to just look over some of it. I will admit, sharing Christ with #1 has been a breeze. He has asked deep questions from the get go. "God and Jesus asked to come live in his heart" about a year ago and it is evident he feels conviction from the Holy Spirit. #2 on the other hand, God has a totally different time table for her. She shows no interest in figuring out the creator of the world. Not very often does genuine guilt or remorse stir in her heart. Tonight I think was different. After a long string of offenses, we had a harsh talk. I finally saw it beginning to click. I think I was able to see her realize, she can't explain why she makes bad choices but at the same time she knows she needs to stop. I praise God that she is becoming aware of what sin is. That it's ugly and it separates her from God and puts and wedge between she and I. The love never ends and this I will always preach. I pray God will call her. Soften her small heart. Make himself real to her.

I am off to read my book. I switched. I am now reading Blue Like Jazz. Love it. He is so random and real. It is refreshing.

our trip

I must say our trip to the mountains was one of the best vacations we've ever had. I loved it. Our cabin was incredible. The view was breathtaking. The air felt pure. The temperature was divine. I just felt so at peace the entire time. I could include a zillion photos infact I will have to upload more later. Well, now I can say I have seen the "Panama Cities" of the Smoky's: Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge & Cherokee. In these cities we saw the biggest collection of crap I think I have ever seen. Store after store you would find just slight different variations of the same crap. It was really funny. We had a lot of laughs. Ok. I have got to get some things accomplished. more later...



He sure is FANTASTIC!

Headed to the mountains

I am so exited. Me and my man head up north tomorrow to have a little time one on one. It has been a very long time since we have made a trip alone. I have been smiling all week just thinking about it.

Too tired to write type anymore. I am off to bed.

A good Christmas gift for sport fans

My Man and a few others have put a lot of work into this. Check it out!

Zelosport

Bug eat world

It was a great day. Started if off with a walk. Weather was Perfect! I am so happy the sun is up early again. The kids played neatly and quietly today. This was very unusual but I had zero complaints. At 2:30 this afternoon we went outside to rake leaves and we did not come back in until 6. It felt incredible outside! Highlight of the afternoon: #1 spotted a preying mantis on an old fence post. This little bug intrigued us for almost 2 hours. We'd observe him for a little while, go play, come back and he'd still be there. I found a rolly polly and placed him on his back in front of the bug, hoping he'd eat it in front of us. I guess he wasn't hungry. The rolly polly stayed up there on top of the post for the longest time. Finally it figured out how to roll over and fell off. We taunted the preying mantis with sticks and it tried to fight back. We put it on a stick, our legs, #3's hair, arms, more sticks, the deck and back to another stick again. I decided we ought to see just what kind of fighter he was. So we found a cob web with small spider and put him in it. He won that match. Walked straight out like it was nothing. Then I remember seeing these gigantic spider's down at grandma's house, so we headed down there for the ultimate fight. There was a web right next to the air conditioner with this huge spider in it. It's the kind that put a zig-zag in the middle of their webs. For real, her body, just her body, was the size of a half dollar. So we placed the mantis in the web. She went right for him. He bowed up his front legs, and she turned around and ran. But the show wasn't over. She regrouped and came at him again. It was amazing. She wrapped him in thick sheets of silk like a pro. He struggled a bit but we knew he had no chance. The kids were cheering her on. It was hilarious. They kept saying, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen!" #1 was disappointed he couldn't actually see her, "drink his blood". We were so close to her we saw it all. Then it began to get dark so we headed home. I loved this experience. I love how the kids are learning as they go. They never realized the "show down" was their science lesson for the day. It's my hope to capitalize on those type of moments and run with it. I don't want school/learning to just happen at the table with work books and computers. I want learning to be experienced everywhere.


"I am ready. Where is the snow?"

Halloween may be over, but the costume will be worn almost everday.